Female Friendly Sex Shops

Circa 1980s-now envision the one lone sex store in my very small hometown. The whole experience of going in, getting my gag gift, leaving without being noticed by any passers-by on the street was a terribly embarrassing experience for a 19 year old.

Sex shops of yesteryear have proven their reputation of being dismal and dirty. What with their frosted glass windows hiding a dark and smelly interior filled with a lot of hardcore porn. The sleazy men going in were of a questionable reputation. No woman with a shred of self-respect would ever be caught in such an establishment.

However, you may have noticed that the climate has changed. Slowly, forward thinking store owners have realized where the buying power is and have been creating a new niche market: women-friendly sex stores.

The first to open its doors was Eve's Garden in New York-founded in 1974 by women's rights activist Dell Williams. According to the Eve's Garden website, Williams felt so much shame walking into a department store and buying a hand held vibrator, it propelled her to fight for women's sexual rights.

Then, in 1977, across the coast in San Francisco, feminist Joani Blank became dismayed by the lack of resources for women seeking accurate sex information and good quality sex toys. She opened Good Vibrations.

The challenge in smaller cities was that women like to cluster, discuss and get positive reinforcement when trying something new. The old retail model is skewed to men, who don't mind walking into a sex store alone. And the women were not biting.

The woman's solution? She gathered girlfriends in her living room so they could buy sex toys at home parties. Sex toy parties are similar to Tupperware parties except they sell all sorts of sex toys and paraphernalia.

Yet after a few years of seeing the sales skyrocket with the home parties, the sex toy industry realized that women were the bulk purchaser of items. Scrambling in the last five to ten years, every major city has seen a new retail model that has built stores exclusively according to women's preferences.

A colleague of mine, John Ince, author of The Politics of Lust, owns and operates The Art of Loving in downtown Vancouver. His shop is what I would definitely classify as the new wave in sex stores.

The first time I walked into Ince's store, it was a totally different experience from the sleazy shop of yore. It has the look and feel of an art gallery with airy ceilings, big sunlit windows, wood floors, plants and comfy leather couches. Immediately upon walking through the front entrance, I saw an area displaying tasteful erotic art.

Going up stairs to the right were shelves of sex-positive books. On the left hand side were sex toy products on display, which customers were able to pick up and check out. With each product, there was a description of how to use it as well as a troubleshooting guide to any health concerns customers may have. The staff were laid-back and ready to answer any questions without judgment.

I spoke to Ince about his business and clientele. He said 70% of his clientele are women, their mean age ranging from 28 to 45 years. John believes that people from all economic strata visit his shop and spend on average $40 to $60 per visit. Women tend to buy smaller items and, as they get more comfortable, graduate to the bigger ticket items such as The Rabbit (made famous by Charlotte on Sex and the City).

Education is a high mandate for Ince, and his store gives 60 to 70 sexuality seminars per year. Obviously, the more educated a woman is about her sexuality, the more comfortable she will feel-and consequently, the more likely she will buy sex toys.

If you're still not certain sex shops are for you, let's look at what everyone else is doing. Durex Condom's 2003 Global Sex Survey cited the percentage of Americans who use vibrators to enhance their sex lives at 49%. The Babes in Toyland website state the number of vibrators sold when they first opened in 1993 to be 500; in 2004, the number rose to 83,250.

However with all of this sex-shops-really-aren't-so-sleazy-anymore progress, the bulk of sex toy sales is still online. I guess people appreciate the anonymous, non-stigma attached to brown paper packaging.

In closing, the Good Vibrations website states: "We look forward to the day when talking about sex, shopping for sex toys and teaching our kids about sex is so easy, so comfortable and so common that we take it for granted." Amen.

Isn't it time you went out and visited your local sex store?

Go to: http://bestsextipsever.com/ for your free podcasts. Find out about Dr. Trina's book, Till Sex Do Us Part at http://tillsexdouspart.com. Sexologist, Dr. Trina is an author, sex coach, regular television and radio show guest, spokesperson, magazine columnist, former national sex newspaper columnist and internationally acclaimed speaker.

Condom World Puerto Rico - sex shop puerto rico pr

Women, the New Consumers of Sex Shops? An Analysis of the Female Erotic Retailing Industry

The erotic industry has changed considerably over the past decade as female-led retailers have moved into what was once seen as a predominantly male market place. This image shift has come from the rise of women focused erotic shops. The UK has five strong contenders: Myla, Ann Summers, Beate Ushe, Coco-de-Mer and SH! These retailers have disassociated themselves from the negative image of sex shops to create plush, boutique style, shopping experiences. The shops are often luxurious, opulent, ascetically pleasing and most of all female friendly.

A major development in encouraging the growth of the female erotic retailing industry is women's changing attitudes towards sex. "Once renowned for being sexually repressed the British are now seen as ready and willing to welcome chains plying risqué underwear and adult objects," (Marketing Week 2002, pp19). Female independence - financially and emotionally - has played a major part in why female erotic shops have become more acceptable.

Michael Vaughan, Beate Ushe's UK Retail Executive takes this view further. "Attitudes have changed enormously in the past five years and even more dramatically in the past two. There are some broad factors, such as more divorcees, meaning more single women, more women living alone, and more equality that account for this. Women generally have greater control of their lives," (Marketing Week, 2002, pp19).

When I wrote my first dissertation on the rise of women as customers of female-led sex shops I surveyed women from across the UK. The results showed a strong negative image associated with sex shops, even though there are more female erotic shops in the UK than there ever has been - albeit mostly in London. Although the industry is growing, the old perceptions are difficult to shake off.

For the women surveyed the overall feeling of sex shops was of 'seediness', 'men in long raincoats', and being located down 'dodgy back alleys'. These perceptions were spread across all age ranges, and locations. Another issue which arose was one of embarrassment. Being seen in a sex shop, buying objects of a sexual nature caused a great unease amongst the women.

The problem then is how respond to these issues. Shops such as Myla and Coco-de-Mer have done this successfully by creating high-end luxury boutique shops that are far removed from the male sex shops that dominate the industry. With open, clear windows and beautiful furnishings the shops give a sense of openness showing women they have nothing to fear.

The research identified great interest amongst women regarding erotic shops, and their product. But the indisputable driving force that stopped women from visiting sex shops was the negative associations connected with the industry. Bringing female sex shops into the shopping mainstream is an important aspect in changing this attitude. Location is also critical. Women need to feel safe.

There is no doubting that women, like men, are interested in sex, but in terms of sex shops women want style, safety, comfort and fashion. The belief that sex shops are frequented by 'dirty old men' is undoubtedly a view that needs changing. Shops like SH!, in London, have taken this on by adopting a policy that men aren't allowed into the shop unless accompanied by a responsible woman. Where ten years ago access to items of a sexual nature was limited for women, the UK now has five strong female-led erotic retailers, each with their own style, but all with a strong awareness on women as consumers.

Attitudes are changing, and (thankfully) so are England's sex shops.

Faybird33 can be found at http://wildanduntamedthings.weebly.com/

Condom World Puerto Rico - sex shop puerto rico pr